Friday, September 3, 2010

Thug Nation!

Just when we thought that things couldn't get worse for the Washington Nationals, somehow they keep figuring out ways to surprise us.

But at least now, I finally know what the "W" on their baseball caps really stands for, because based on their latest, "man-made disaster", it seems to me that the "W" is an "in the closet" logo for the WWE.

Ok, now I get it!

Winning baseball games is not their No. 1 priority, but street brawling is.

And today, to no one's surprise, Major League Baseball handed out an 8-game suspension to their thug outfielder Nyjer "I kick butt" Morgan, for causing pandemonium during a game against the Florida Marlins. Earlier this month, Morgan was also suspended for 7 games for causing another ruckus, but he's appealing that suspension.

Morgan's entire rap sheet isn't even worth mentioning, but what I want to know is--what was the Nationals moronic manager Jim Riggleman thinking when he made this comment--

“I’m a little surprised at (the suspensions and fines) overall,” Riggleman said. “I thought they were a little heavy, certainly heavier than I expected. However, I think Major League Baseball is also sending out a message with these suspensions and especially with the fines, and that’s that it doesn’t want bench-clearing brawls in this sport.”


You "THINK" they don't want these fisticuffs?

Anyway, like I said, I'm not even going to waist my time highlighting all of Morgan's recent thug behavior, but since we now know the Nationals are auditioning to join the WWE, with what nickname should Nyjer be anointed?

The following are nice, but I believe they are either taken or have been used in the past:

1) Nyjer "The Animal" Morgan
2) Nyjer "The Hitman" Morgan
3) Nyjer "The Brooklyn Brawler" Morgan
4) "Stone Cold" Nyjer Morgan
5) "Superfly" Nyjer Morgan
6) Nyjer "The Crippler" Morgan
7) Nyjer "The One Man Gang" Morgan
    The funny thing about this whole embarrassment is that I think Nyjer actually enjoys his "gangsta" reputation.

    But, thank god, he plays for the Nationals and NOT on a legitimate major league ball club. Can you imagine a world-class organization like, let's say, the Minnesota Twins having to deal with this bozo?

    Finally, I think Riggleman is TOO SOFT to manage these hoodlums and needs to be replaced immediately.

    I hear that former WWE Tag Team champion, D'Lo Brown is out of work. D'Lo would make the perfect manager for the Nationals.

    In fact, Nyjer can take D'Lo's old entrance song, "Danger at the Door", and play it at Nationals Park every time he makes his way to the plate or right after he has a "throw down" with an opposing pitcher.

    And speaking of D'Lo's old song, let's hear it again, just for old time sakes:

    Hey Nyjer, just make sure you win some belts because D'Lo had a great career using that song.

    And the Washington "We don't retire former Expo numbers" Nationals wonder why bad karma keeps biting them in the you know what!

    Photos courtesy of the AP
    Logos courtesy of the Washington Nationals and WWE Entertainment

    1 comment:

    1. Ha, ha! This is way too funny!