Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ozzie Guillen Should Have His Own Reality Show

People can say what they want about Chicago White Sox manager, Ozzie Guillen, but they'll have to admit the guy is a character. Since he took over as manager in 2004, Guillen has thrown a lot of funny tirades with memorable one-liners. Yeah, he has his critics who've called him "shameful" and "unprofessional." But the guy doesn't care. He says whatever is on his mind and to use his words, "doesn't give a [bleep] how it comes out."

Last week he made headlines when he said, "If they hit one of our players, we hit TWO of theirs!" Guillen was referring to a reporters question about, what would happen if he knew the opponents were intentionally throwing at his players.

Personally, I'm a big Ozzie fan, so I put together a list of my 5 favorite Ozzie moments. On paper they don't sound as funny, but they sure heck are hilarious coming from him with his patented accent:

1) Last year, in a locker room tantrum, Ozzie was told that hitting coach Greg Walker was upset at being singled out as one of the culprits, after a White Sox loss.

Ozzie: "Who am I going to blame if my team is not hitting? My wife?"

2) Last year's memorable tirade when he threw General Manager, Kenny Williams under the bus.

Ozzie: "There's only one message I'm going to send-- just be ready because I expect movement Tuesday. I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday, and if we don't do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes. That's all I'm going to say about the offense."

"It can be me. It can be [hitting coach] Greg Walker. It can be the players. It could be anybody. I'm sick and tired to watch this thing for a year and a half. I'm not protecting anybody anymore. [Bleep] it! If they can't get it done, Kenny should find someone to get it done. That's it. Another bad game. If we think we are going to win with the offense we have, we are full of [bleep]. I'm just being honest. I expect better from them, if they are in the lineup."

Williams response: "It's never a good idea to throw your boss under the bus, especially when that boss has had his back as much as I have."

3) When asked to comment on Chicago Sun-Times columnist, Jay Mariotti, an ardent critic of Guillen.

Ozzie: "He's garbage, still garbage, going to die as garbage. Why he's so afraid to show up to the ballpark?... Tell him we'll pay his cab. Tell him to tell us where he lives, and we'll bring him to the ballpark and we'll have a conversation."

4) When asked about pitcher, Bartolo Colon's rehab start in Charlotte.

Ozzie: "I worry about Colon because Colon was a big-time Michael Jackson fan..." "He might see the TV and cry all day long. He may be in LA at his funeral, because I can't find him."

5) On catcher, A.J. Pierzynski:

Ozzie: "You play against A.J., you hate him. You play with A.J., you hate him a little less."

One things for sure, only Guillen can get away with some of the things he says. I guess the team, the media and the fans have gotten used to him over the years. I can't imaging any other manager spewing some of the things Guillen says and not having all hell break lose.

When asked whose the best manager in Chicago, he bluntly said, "I am." He then continued: "All the managers the White Sox went through, I have a lot of respect for them, but I don't think any of those managers had more passion for this ball club than me. Nobody. I know it."

In a town where World Series trophies are an elusive piece of hardware, I guess Ozzie, the only manager to hoist one in the last 92 years, can enjoy his moment in the sun.

I wonder what First Fan, President Obama thinks about his manager?

1 comment:

  1. Obama is probably thinking "I'm sure glad I didn't send Ozzie to North Korea." Ozzie would have us in war with any country within minutes. But as for baseball I think every sport should have one outspoken guy.